Breaking the internet: naked Kim Kardashian saves the world

Posted: November 13, 2014 in philosophy, politics, religion, social media
Tags: , , , , , ,

So, by all accounts it’s official. Seminude, obviously ‘retouched’ pics of Kim Kardashian broke the net, getting more views than cats playing pianos, news coverage of Russia annexing Crimea, birth certificate conspiracy stories, or comet landing vids. Spoiler alert: if you stopped by thanks to the title, and hoped to catch another glimpse (I know you’ve seem em) of Miss Kardshian’s ample ass, you’ll be disappointed to know the photos are not included in this article. If you must see again, though, you can check them out here.

As you likely know, the photo shoot deliberately designed to garner as many views as is possible has launched a plethora of comical, insulting, and occasionally thought provoking memes. Also abundant are thought pieces on Andy Warhol’s infamous “fifteen minutes” and Miss Kardashian’s cultural contributions (or lack thereof). Finally, we have respected news and commentary stalwarts like Salon, The Boston Herald, Time, and many, many others (not to mention every would-be thinker with a blog) pontificating on the possible implications bare tits and a big round butt have for the future of women and feminism.

It is possible that we’ve all been played. Your’s truly, however, thinks that Miss Kardashian’s well thought out page view strategy reveals a much wider truth than the facts that the net loves celebrity, nude pictures, and nude celebrity pictures.

The Internet is quite possibly the most important human invention since the creation of the written word (though many a college student will argue that that distinction belongs to ramen noodles.)

No, the internet will not save a patient dying from a horrible disease, but it just might inspire a 15 year old with a cold who also happens to be wondering what to do with his life to immerse himself in WebMD. That kid could later go to med school, become a doctor, and eventually discover the cure for his cold and for Ebola.

The internet has us interconnected in ways that were unheard of a mere couple of decades ago. Iranian students demonstrate for freedom in the streets of Tehran and the world learns about it in real time.

At our fingertips is the entire body of human knowledge – from studies on our very beginnings in the primordial ooze to the latest musings on the role of man in the universe – everything we know, have known, and hope to know is as near as our cell phone or the local library.

Alexandria has nothing on iPad or Google. The works of today’s equivalent of a Thomas Paine would be in the hands of would be revolutionists the moment ol’ Tom uploaded them.

When, in a matter of hours, the bare hind end of an otherwise intellectually and culturally unnoteworthy individual sparks worldwide discussion about the self esteem of women, the merits of pornography, or the lopsided role celebrity plays in culture, one can be certain that the tool which makes such discussions possible is neither a threat to societal cohesiveness nor the childish distraction some would have us believe it to be.

Thank you Kim, for your ass and for the gift it is to the world. We owe you one.

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