Today was to be a day to work on the latest song and, time and stamina permitting, on the novel. Life is interesting the way it throws a wrench in the works occasionally. Things we find crucial in the morning (or through any number of months or years) find themselves booted to less than essential when an event or value challenges us to reconsider priorities. I blame Facebook and God’s Grace (in the form of a FB post) for insisting that I take time away from work-proper. I thank my own choice of values for insisting I find the time to remind myself once more to be grateful and to ponder.
After five months of homelessness, despite losing a laptop loaded with five years of my effort and creative work, I am so grateful I’ve not found myself without the means to keep going. I’m grateful for the talents I have and for the drive I feel to work harder and to jump any obstacles in front of me.
After two years of struggle with a State bureaucracy penalizing me into homelessness for working harder, for learning new skills and accepting a promotion, and for daring to love myself and my values enough to ask for as little as was needed to temporarily survive when that job suddenly ended I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the awareness that the little I am willing to accept takes away nothing from my convictions that forced charity is an evil that must be fought with every moment I still breathe.
Mostly I’m grateful that life and He Who Authors It does not expect me to prize my suffering over my successes. I’m grateful that I’m not expected to nor can I believe my ability to move on with life depends on anyone else but myself and He Who Sees Me Through.